But I Don’t Wanna Upgrade!


“But I don’t wanna upgrade” were my words of protest spoken to the AT&T rep at the other end of the line.

Jan 27th, birthday eve for me, began pleasantly enough but didn’t end that way. The day before, I made a conscious decision to end a bout of sleep deprivation brought on by staying up into the wee hours of the morning greedily devouring the many riveting matches of the Australian Open. I wanted to be fresh for both my birthday and finals weekend.

I acted responsibly by going to bed at a reasonable hour. 12:45 am. That was a good four hours earlier than I had been sliding under the covers. After a solid 8 1/2 hours, I arose refreshed, excited and eager. After all, if I had been down under, I’d already have been celebrating my birthday possibly at the “Shriekfest” between Azarenka and Sharapova. But I’d have to content myself with watching from good old St. Louis.

I gave Azarenka a decided edge despite her lack of experience in slam finals. I’d always felt Sharapova was a better commercial commodity than tennis player even with three slams to her credit. Still, the match had to be played.

I was sitting at my computer having just completed one sentence of a blog post when the unthinkable happened.

My monitor went momentarily blank as though the computer had crashed. In less than five seconds, it blinked sleepily back to life. But there was a problem. “DSL SIGNAL LOST!” was visible at the top of the screen. Beneath that was a picture of a computer and modem but with two menacing red slashes through the cable attaching the two devices. “What the…?”

With so little time having elapsed, I hadn’t glanced at my modem. When I did, I saw the DSL and INTERNET lights angrily flashing red. “What the…? Okay, just reboot,” I thought. There was no change of status after rebooting both modem and computer. So I unplugged the entire system, waited 10 seconds, replugged and turned everything back on. Still those two hideous red lights continued pulsating. I knew then that my hapless system hadn’t simply sustained some freak “cyber injury.” I had lost “connectivity!

The child that answered my call to AT&T won instant points for clarity of voice, friendliness and an instant willingness to help solve my dilemma. But 90 seconds into her sales pitch, I found myself almost shouting, “But I don’t wanna upgrade to U-Verse! I don’t even know what U-Verse is! Can’t you just turn my freaking DSL back on? I love my DSL modem. And did I mention it’s an AT&T model?”

Undaunted, the cheerful rep continued chirping away at why re initiating my existing modem was not an option, how much faster internet service would become, and how much I’d be saving in the long run by upgrading. Clearly, my protestations were an exercise in futility. I could feel my lower lip protruding slightly while quivering a bit as my voice trailed off to an almost inaudibly childish, lost-cause defiant, “But I don’t wanna…”

After eight days without internet service, I now have U-Verse.

What ever happened to “choice?”

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4 thoughts on “But I Don’t Wanna Upgrade!

  1. I’m the owner of a new phone that is officially smarter than me, and a new laptop I understand about 1/2 of. In addition, I have a new employer with multiple new passwords, new email, new loan origination system, and I am sure many other new things I haven’t even discovered yet. I feel your pain, and as soon as I learn how to listen to my voice mail, will check to see if you called me!

  2. I am sorry you had to go through the pain and suffering, especially on your birthday. However, I made the conscious decision to change to UVerse a couple of years ago and I LOVE IT!!!!! Belated Happy Birthday!!!

    • Will definitely do that. That girl wasn’t taking no for an answer. What irritated me most was the coercion factor. There was absolutely nothing wrong with my old modem. While I do understand that U-Verse will eventually be the staple, I’d just like to undergo change at my own rate.

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